Once again, the news is just too much to bear. A tornado rips through a small Oklahoma town, destroying neighborhoods and plowing down an elementary school. At this point in the search and rescue, 20 children are confirmed dead, many still missing. At least 51 people have perished, with that number expected to rise.

How to cope? How to handle such grief? We saw the Newtown massacre, and our hearts broke and bled. We heard from the Newtown moms this week–on Mother’s Day–as we pondered the question: how do you go on? And while the circumstances in the town of Moore are far different, our grief remains the same: Those poor parents. Those poor babies. That poor community.

As I tucked Fia in tonight, I felt how precarious and precious this life is…how so much of it hangs in the balance, with fate tipping the scales. I thought about how blessed I am today. How cursed I may be tomorrow.

As we lay in the dark, her tiny arms wrapped around me, she said, “Mama, don’t ever leave me, okay?”

“I won’t,” I whispered as I inhaled the soft scent of her hair.

“And I will never leave you,” she said happily, as if we were two girlfriends making a secret–but lighthearted–pact. If only life were that cut and dried. That easy.

I know that nothing in this world is a guarantee. But what I would do for one to protect my babies…

All I can do is hope. Hope that by the Grace of God, Fia and I can both keep our promise.

Picture via google image/ABC.go

If it were just school, I’d think maybe the place wasn’t the right fit for her. But it’s also gymnastics. And with our cleaning ladies. And babysitter.

For example, every Wednesday Sheny and Lucy come to our house at 8 a.m. They are warm and loving. Yet it is a struggle to get Fia to say “Good Morning.” We started prepping her.

“When Sheny and Lucy come, what are you going to say?” we ask.

“Good Morning!” Fia declares with enthusiasm.

Then they walk in and nothing. She puts her head down and clings to our leg. It is somewhat maddening.

In gymnastics she’s gotten better at participating after we kept encouraging her–and a few times bribing her with the promise of a yogurt covered pretzel. But still, at “drinking fountain time,” 8 boys and girls run giddily across the room, laughing with one another. Fia walks. Now granted, she walks with a little sassy sway in her and I kinda dig that she doesn’t have to run with the pack, but I just wonder sometimes what is going on in her mind. I don’t want to project anxiety on her, and maybe she just goes to the beat of her own drum, but still…I am left puzzled.

With our sitter Michele, whom she loves, Fia greets her happily. But then she always comes to me and asks, “When is Michele leaving?” The exception is when Michele brings her twins, Maci and Cruz. Then it’s happy chaos all around. But If I am putting her down for her nap and the twins aren’t here, it’s the last question she asks before she goes to sleep and the first when she wakes up.

“Is Michele gone? Did you tell her to go home?”

I suppose part of this is wanting to know “the plan” and what is up. I can imagine in the world of a toddler, you have no control, so you crave it on any level.

We did have a breakthrough last Wednesday. We prepped and practiced for Sheny and Lucy to arrive. When they did she perked up and said louder than her usual whisper, “Good Morning!” Then she hugged them. When they left the room, Fia was beaming. I said, “How did that make you feel?” She nodded her little head, while bouncing up and down with pride. “Really good mama, really good.”

So I feel like we take a few steps forward, then suddenly will revert and go backwards again. Maybe this is just part of normal toddler development. Maybe she’s just a little shy, or it takes her longer to warm up to someone. I don’t think she likes chaos and I know at her preschool, when the whole pack is out playing and being wild, she tends to shy away. Two weeks ago I showed up and she was the only kid inside, quietly coloring. All the others were outside. On some level it hurt my heart. But again, if she’s not sad or anxious, then it doesn’t matter, and I shouldn’t feel sad right?

What do you guys think? Any insight or advice?

When you have kids, you end up needing a separate house to basically store their upbringing. The artwork, the pictures… you know, all their “stuff.” If you’re at all sentimental, you feel guilty tossing that piece of paper that has a fuschia smear. Especially after they tell you it’s a self portrait. Then the guilt is equivalent to throwing away the Mona Lisa.

Until it’s not.

I thought I had a pretty good idea for all the artwork Fia comes home with. I use it as wrapping paper. That way I’m reusing it and I don’t feel guilty for throwing it away. It’s someone else’s problem. Plus she has fun wrapping the presents with me.

However, we don’t go to enough birthday parties to use up the constant influx of art.

When I was at Mom2.0, I met this great guy Jedd, who created an app for parents that allows them to save their kids’ art in a different way.  It’s called Artkive. Get it? Like archive… okay, I’m babbling.

The app is amazingly simple to use… even a third grader could probably handle it. Which means I can.  You take a picture on your phone (thru the app–which has an icon for the camera) of your child’s artwork, school work, or whatever you want to document. Just take pictures. Like, every piece that comes in if you want.

If you have more than one child, you pick who created each piece, and the pictures then get stored (on their servers, thus not taking up precious space on your phone) with your child’s name, grade and the date.  It’s all in order so that when you’re ready, you hit print and the app puts all the artwork into a coffee-table book that is mailed to you.  Almost no work and no risk of your child finding their art in the garbage. Speaking of, here’s a funny video on the psychological damage done to your kid when you throw their sh-t, err, stuff away.

I wrote a few weeks back about my quandary with photos and what to do with them all. Well you could use Artkive for that too. You can upload anything from your camera roll and then rather than ordering 900 prints a year to go into 9 different photo albums (which is my current system), I can add my favorites to Artkive and get a book made for me. Or, just skip that step and take every picture through the Artkive App on my phone.

Jedd started the company after watching his wife photograph their kids’ art one day. She then uploaded it to her computer and uploaded it from there to a photo site.  She never actually made the book she had hoped because the pictures were all out of order and she didn’t have the time to spend sorting it all out and making a book.  So he created an app that would make her life easier.

What a guy, right? I’m waiting for Phil to hire a personal chef after watching me struggle in the kitchen.

Anywho, it’s a small business enterprise that I just thought as a mom myself was cool and invented by cool people. And hey, Ivanka Trump apparently likes it. Need I say more?

You know how I feel about the whole EC–Elimination Communication movement. As in potty training your kid from the moment they are born and going to weekly support groups that revolve around talking sh-t. Um, no. Not happening.

So I had to dive into the discussion stemming from an article in Gothamist about publicly defecating. On purpose. We’re not talking about a homeless person down on their luck either.

The snapshot is of a little boy on one of those porta potties for kids. He is sitting on it outside, at, ya ready for this? A cafe. Specifically Pier 1 cafe that overlooks the Hudson River. Diners eat while he poops. I have never….

Now I know kids have little bladders and if you are in a park without a bathroom or something, having one of those porta potties can be handy. Especially because you can keep it in your car and your kid can use it. In Your Car. In Private. But at a restaurant? Where there is a bathroom?

The nanny was apparently with the kid. But honestly, this must fall on the parents. I can only assume they made her take this thing everywhere. I am also making the assumption that they are entitled and uptight. Because this is what the latest breed of entitled, uptight parents do. I can just hear it, “We can’t let anything interrupt little Johnny’s poo.”

I mean, come on you guys, tell me you agree on this. Tell me this is extreme parenting at the sh-ttiest level.

Please note:  Parents changed the comments section on all the blogs and you can only post a comment via Facebook.  Scroll down to the end of this post and you will see the Facebook icon. Thanks!

Pic of boy via Shutterstock

This is how my bad day turned good:

I ran into the grocery store in the midst of a sh-t storm I was dealing with on the homefront. You know, one of those awful, horrible days. My friend Delia Ephron had told me she had written an article in MORE Magazine this month (the May 2013 issue) and had mentioned me. She said it had to do with being fearless.

Naturally curious, and wanting to support her, I grabbed a copy in the check out line. Back in the car I had 4.33 minutes to get home for my sitter. I quickly opened up the magazine. The “Jill” she is referring to is ME! I read her article and burst into tears. You know when you just really need to know someone believes in you?

So here is to being fearless. Or at least trying!

The Art of Fearlessness, by Delia Ephron 

Published in MORE Magazine

I DON’T DO THERAPY.

I used to do therapy. I had a psychotherapist in my twenties when I was unhappily married. I don’t even remember the shrink’s name, although I do remember the names of all my bad boyfriends. How ironic is that? ow that I am veering out of middle age, I don’t have time for a talking cure. I’d be in a nursing home by the time I solved the problem.

Instead, I work from the outside in. In the lifelong battle of empowerment versus insecurity, calm versus anxiety, positive versus negative, I swear by these tricks:

BOOTS. When my sister Nora and I wrote a play, Love, Loss, and What I Wore, we asked our friends to tell us about their favorite clothes. Tales of boots poured in. Boots matter, I realized. They make a woman feel brave, strong and grounded and, I almost forgot, hot. I invested in a pair, blue-gray suede, kick-ass. I want to tell you that when I wear these boots, I feel fearless, like Carrie in Homeland, but she is out of her mind, or assured, like Alicia Florrick in The Good Wife, but she has given up sex with Will Gardner, so who wants to be her? Nevertheless.

A BLOW-DRY. Nothing gives a girl more confidence. Woody Allen has written that he would never have wanted to live in a time before antibiotics were invented. For me it’s the blow-dry. Without one, I look like a woolly lamb.

SILVER HOOP EARRINGS. Recently I was booked on Morning Joe. No pressure, just three minutes to say something wonderful that would make viewers rush to read my book. “Do I look OK?” I asked the makeup woman. She considered my face and hair and said, “Silver hoop earrings.” Then she said, “Power,” as if that were the definition of silver hoop earrings. She took off hers and lent them to me. I don’t know whether it was her kindness-the sisterhood of that-or if she’s right, that silver hoops have power, but those earrings gave me an extra charge. A few days later, I bought a pair of my own.

JILL. We all have a girlfriend more daring than we are. Mine is Jill. She climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. She trekked through Mali and slept on roofs. Until I met Jill, my idea of a hike was the one block uphill from the subway to my doctor’s office. So last year, when I had to travel to several cities to give talk , I decided to be Jill. I would arrive at the airport pumped, as if embarking on a great adventure. I would make eye contact with seatmates on airplanes. I would be O-P-E-N.
I got on a plane to Nashville and found myself talking to a woman named Laura Heatherly, who runs a music-industry charity. Would I like to come to a benefit? I was Jill, so I said yes.

But you never know when your timid old self will resurface. In my hotel room, I was seized with a desire to dive into bed and order up a Law & Order marathon. Instead, I called Jill.

“Go for 15 minutes,” she said. “If it’s awful, leave.”

I did go and it wasn’t. Culinary legend Lidia Bastianich did the food. I sat at a table with Steve Cropper, who cowrote “(Sittin’ on) The Dock of the Bay,” not that we spoke, but hey. And my hosts, Laura and her husband, Bob, epitomized Southern hospitality.

On the way home, my flight was delayed. I was Jill, so I chilled.*

On Friday I was thinking that sitting in a corner taking Xanax might be the perfect Mother’s Day for me. This, after Emmett peed on my leg like I was a fire hydrant (he was naked as I was about to put him in the bath). Then giggled.

The day only got better.

I had to take Wayne to the vet. And Emmett. And Fia.  As I was being told Wayne once again is obese, and no longer my Biggest Loser, Emmett took a pack of crayons and threw them at the cat. Of course this spooked Wayne and fur went flying. Once again, Em laughs. Fia starts screaming “Emmett, don’t do that.” The vet looked at me and said, “Let me get the receptionist to start working on your bill so we can get you out of here quickly.”  Clearly I’m their favorite client. I bribed Fia with a lolipop and Em with his pacifier to just sit the f-ck still.

When we got home I gave Wayne a treat in his bowl. I turned my back for a second. Emmett came running out of the room with the ceramic bowl, threw it across the room where it shattered, then began laughing. He may actually be insane. But insanely happy too. This all happened before 11 a.m.

Do I deserve Xanax? Yes. Maybe 5.

Regardless of how I celebrate my day, I figured posting pictures would help calm me down. And it does. So here goes. I’m taking the rest of the weekend off.

Happy Mother’s Day, Everyone!

Okay, so maybe he looks a little like a barking seal in this picture. After all, we were at the zoo. But I just love how happy he looks. Man, did I get a good one (except that he is WILD)! Pure joy, this boy.

Emmett’s first carousel ride. Clearly he hates it.

Fia on her favorite giraffe!

Both of my babies.

At friend Lazlo’s birthday party

Bubble Time

Alone on the high beam–and giving me a heart attack!

Water play!

 I know I’ve posted this before, but I can’t help but do it again: my beautiful boy!

I’ve told you guys about the Mom 2.0 Summit I went to last week. While I was off socializing, sleeping, relaxing, and meeting some amazing women, Phil was at home dealing with snot and sh-t. Both kids had colds, and while I was only 63 miles away, I of course didn’t offer to come home early. He wouldn’t have let me anyway.

However, after 3 restful nights of sleep at the lovely Ritz in Laguna Niguel, I was ready to go. Hearing Fia’s voice through her stuffy nose made my heart ache. And Emmett is finally saying “Mama” which kills me. So I drove home and got out of the car, dying to hug my kids. They bounded up to me and I embraced them tightly. Phil is there and looks like he’s been hit by a nuclear bomb. All he says is, “I could never be a stay-at-home dad.” Half an hour later he was in bed taking a 3-hour nap.

In that moment the entire conference became worth it all over again.  I felt smug, but in a loving way. I think he realized how hard it can be. Not that he doesn’t already, and he is always encouraging me to get more help if I want it. But it felt good–really good to hear him say that. Granted the kids weren’t at their best and one night he said they were up every hour. But you know what?  Sometimes it’s good to do these things for me, not just because it gives me a break, but it also gives my spouse a little dose of what I do as a mom. Everyday. And I say that as the wife of a very hands-on dad. He does more than most. We are true partners.

Anyway, he napped, I cleaned up our house. It too, looked like a train wreck. I snuggled with the kids and even pet the cat. I felt the love–of women supporting women at the conference and of course the love from my own family. Even Wayne seemed to have missed me. Sometimes it’s great to getaway. But it’s also always great to come home.

I had such a carefree, fun time at Mom2.0Summit. I have been entwined in a real estate issue (if anyone has bought or sold a house, you know what I’m going through) that is testing my absolute limit of what I can handle. So when Parents asked me to go on their behalf a few weeks ago, I jumped on it.

I realized how important it was for me to connect with other moms and to recharge my batteries. The conference is for mom bloggers, but what is cool is it’s such a supportive bunch of women. We all want readers and we all have something to say. Or at least we think we do. Ha! It could make for a competitive situation.  Instead, it’s the opposite. It’s about women supporting women and encouraging each other.  Which was appropriate considering who the main sponsor was…

Now you know I don’t endorse or do much commercial stuff on my blog. But I was able to attend the conference thanks to Dove. I gotta say the company has an amazing campaign. It’s all about empowering girls. Lisa Ling has joined on with their new initiative “Make Girls Unstoppable” (see my interview with her here). Did you know 6 out of 10 girls give up what they love to do–be it gymnastics, art, raising their hand in class, etc, because they don’t like the way they look? The company is making a commitment to reach 15 million girls by 2015 with self-esteem programming.  I think that’s pretty damn cool.

While at the conference I sat down with Jess Weiner, a social media strategist. She’s also Dove’s global self-esteem ambassador. Her focus is on women and girls. I wanted to know in this day and age if it’s even harder for girls to have a positive image of themselves than when we were growing up.

“Well, I wasn’t documenting myself with Instagram when I was a girl but if I was, would I feel the same anxiety girls have about their beauty? Probably. I had it anyway but I didn’t have Facebook or Twitter or Instagram to feed me everyone else’s reaction to it. Now with technology and the click of a mouse girls are completely viral and global and while that is amazing on so many levels, it adds to the pressure of the images they have everyday. So I’m not sure if it’s gotten worse, but it’s gotten different.”

Separately, Dove recently did these sketch ads where an artist asks women to describe themselves. The artist sits behind a canvas and never physically sees them. Instead, he asks them to describe themselves and he sketches from that.  It’s incredible (and frankly depressing) to see how women view themselves. It’s not pretty. But it should be. We need to feel better about ourselves and our looks. Be less critical. More confident. And pass that on to our girls.

So I guess in thinking about it, Mom2.0Summit didn’t only give me a break from my regular mom world, but it also inspired me. Even on a micro level for the kind of girl I want Fia to be and the issues to be aware of. Plus, it was good to get out of my comfort zone. Not to mention 3 straight nights of uninterrupted sleep. I can’t wait for the next one.

Me with Jess Weiner

She has traveled the world reporting on social injustices–with an emphasis on the plight of women and girls. She has brought awareness to the underground world of human sex trafficking. She has been a fierce advocate to toughen the laws and prosecute those who prey on the weak and vulnerable. For more than two decades, Lisa Ling has been a fighter for those who don’t have a voice. She is journalism at its best.

Now this life-changing woman has given life–to a baby girl, Jett Ling Song. How has that impacted her world? Her perspective? Her career as host of Our America with Lisa Ling on OWN–The Oprah Winfrey Network?

I sat down with her at Mom2Summit, where we had a mom-to-mom conversation.

Me: I ran marathons, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, and motherhood, more than anything, totally kicked my ass. You’re only 8 weeks in, so you’re still in the fog a bit. But you have done so many things and traveled the world. How has the adjustment to motherhood been for you?

Lisa: I’m just going to say this: So far, it’s easy because we’ve had a really easy baby. She only cries when she’s hungry and has a dirty diaper. But every single person keeps saying, “Just wait, it will change.” And it’s just changed. She now, for the last couple of days, has been almost inconsolable, just crying all the time, hungry all the time, so I’ve definitely been deprived of sleep. I’m definitely someone who doesn’t need a lot of sleep…but that part, lack of sleep, has been really really difficult. And just to figure out what the needs are of this little life. On the one hand it’s been hugely gratifying but it’s definitely not an easy process.

Me: We’ve all been there. How are you handling work right now? Are you taking some time off?

Lisa:  I gave birth in March, I’m not traveling until June. But I already started to work again. Two weeks after, my mind got really numb and I just really needed adult engagement.  I got an opportunity to work on a show in LA, to shoot part of a documentary, and I just had to go for it (laughs).”

Me: Wow, 2 weeks out, that’s pretty amazing!

Lisa: Well, it started at 2 weeks but I didn’t actually start shooting until about 4 weeks out. And I had to pump in people’s homes…but we are lucky in that we have had someone helping us. And I think that’s something people need to convey because you see all these celebrity moms out there and the perception is they can do it all, but they have sooo much help. And it’s kind of an unfair image to project for many women, because it is really hard and if you have help, you should indicate you have help. Because it’s not fair to put all these false thoughts in people’s heads.

Me: Yeah, I get it. I had a night nurse for 3 weeks and kept her for 7 months. I had to have sleep to function with baby #2.

Lisa: For me, having help is the benefit of waiting. Fifteen yeas ago I would not have been able to afford help.

Me: So she is 8 weeks, which means what? She’s rolling over?

Lisa: Not quite even rolling. Just starting to smile and laugh out loud. But there’s something miraculous that I have to brag about. On her first day of life she was laying on my chest and her head popped up and she looked at me. The nurse said, “I can’t believe what I just saw. That this baby held her head up.” And from that day on, she has been holding her head up.

Me: I saw your ultrasound on Anderson Cooper. Is she living up to her reputation as an active baby?

Lisa: Not really.  She sleeps nonstop, but she is obviously very strong.

Me: How has your husband Paul adjusted?

Lisa: Paul has been wonderful in that there is not much that he can do. But he really does make an effort. As soon as he comes home from work he is the first to volunteer to change the diapers for the rest of the night.  I have to acknowledge him for that, but the truth of the matter is there is not a whole lot he can do.

…I will say my husband in 8 weeks is a different person. He’s never been an overtly affectionate person. But the way he is, the way he just looks at her…he will kneel next to her crib for an hour just staring at her. The look in his eyes is something I’ve never seen before.

Me: I know my husband found parenthood just as profound as I did.

You have an eco-friendly home. How eco-friendly are you as a mom?

Lisa: I wish I could say I was doing cloth diapers, but she just sh-ts too much. Let’s put it this way: you know the first day after you have a baby, they want you to have one poop and one pee in one feeding? My daughter had five poops. She was quite the overachiever.  With the amount of diapers I go through there is no way I could do cloth. We have converted to all eco-friendly products, so we’re making an effort but we’re not overzealous about it.

Me: I think the first day with Fia we went through 23 diapers. I also found that I was pretty crazy about not using too many paper towels before my kids came, but I swear that has gone out the window.  I use so many. You will probably find the same thing when she starts eating. Because then they can really start to make a mess.

Lisa: This is going to be the best thing for me because I am notoriously OCD. Notorious. In some ways it is helping to make me heal (laughs), so to speak.

Me: Are you a clean freak?

Lisa: I am. We have a lot of glass in our house and when my niece runs towards the windows, I am like “Noooo!  Stop!”

[pause--here is where I tell her about how my hypnotherapy helped cure my cleaning obsession.]

Me: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve had so far?

Lisa: Sleep when your baby is sleeping.

Me: Are you following it?

Lisa: I’m trying to. I’ve never been a huge napper but now I find I need it. Especially because I’m running on fumes.

Me: Any bad advice? (she thinks for a bit…)

Lisa: Chinese people like to bundle their babies up (into like four layers). My baby is sweating like a beast. But I find my baby stops crying when I take off some of the layers. So that is the bad advice I got from the Chinese aunties.

Me: How was your birth? Did you go into labor?

Lisa: I had a planned C-section and I cried the entire day before I had the baby.

Me: How come?

Lisa: I was just terrified. Because life as I knew it was going to be different forever. I have always been kind of a control freak and this was something that was so completely out of my control. I was inconsolable.

Sidenote: I get it. I had 9 months of therapy because I was so worried I’d love Wayne Sanchez more than my kid. But as we moms know, it just doesn’t happen that way.

Me: I found that in the beginning, as much as I loved my baby, there was this major adjustment to the mundane and tediousness of the day.  I remember just trying to hang in there with it but not sure where my purpose was. How was the adjustment for you? You mentioned wanting to work a little bit after 2 weeks.

Lisa: I felt very cloistered in my home and needed to flex my mind and get engaged and have a little more adult conversation. I felt like I was getting a little numb. I love being with my baby, I absolutely love it. But I also love to have adult stimulation and that’s really important to me. I think I’m a better mom as a result because I have enriched myself. And that’s not for everyone. Not everyone needs that.

Me: Did you feel guilty leaving?

Lisa: No, not really because I really do feel like I’ll be better for her.

Me: What made you decide to have a baby?

Lisa: Being together with my husband. I hadn’t wanted to have a kid until I met my partner. We’ve had a couple miscarriages, but I’d always felt if we weren’t successful biologically, we’d adopt. Certainly life has changed in such a positive way. But for those women who are struggling [with whether to have a kid] an important message needs to be conveyed that if you decide that having kids isn’t for you, that’s okay too.

Me: Tell me about your involvement with Dove.

Note to everyone: Dove is the title sponsor of the conference and announced their latest campaign, which Lisa helped kick off at Mom2Summit, “Let’s Make Girls Unstoppable.” (#girlsunstoppable). 

Lisa: I’ve always been a huge proponent and fan of their campaigns. I would love to see more brands follow suit.

The idea of trying to make girls feel unstoppable is a message that needs to be projected and promoted. Too often girls feel insecure about their looks. I mean 6 out of 10 girls stop doing what they love most because of what they look like. And if you think of the images that are so pervasive and the kinds of women girls are growing up revering, it’s a little daunting.

And now, as a mother of a daughter, it does scare me. I applaud Dove for wanting to instill a sense of self esteem in girls across this country and to actually put their money where their mouth is, and to give it numbers…to try and inject self esteem in 15 million girls by 2015. When they asked me to be part of it I was so in.

 Me: Great. It does have a powerful message. Thanks so much for taking the time to talk. Now go home and kiss that baby.

It’s my turn!! I get to go out of town today. I get to sleep in high thread count sheets at the Ritz. I get to order room service and have two precious nights of uninterrupted sleep.

Since we moved to LA, Phil hasn’t had to travel nearly as much as when we lived in NYC. As a screenwriter, he was hopping on planes all the time to the west coast. Which is one of the reasons we moved here when I became pregnant with our second baby, Emmett. We both wanted to cut down on his time away from home.

However, he’s had a few trips. A couple different ones to London (he even got snapped by the paparazzi) and recently an 8-day trip to Atlanta where his latest movie is shooting.

So when Parents asked me a couple weeks ago if I could go to Mom2Summit in the beautiful area of Laguna Niguel, about 90 minutes from my home, I told them my bags were already packed.

Then I started reading about the conference and saw there was a whole lot of crazy/silly controversy surrounding it. The Wall Street Journal wrote an article called “The Mommy Business Trip.” I didn’t find the article as offensive as some did.  Though the comments were pretty brutal. I mean the title is a bit demeaning, and some of the piece suggests that conferences like these are one big excuse for moms who have pretend careers as “mommy bloggers” to get out of town and party.  I think because we carry “mommy” in our title as bloggers, people don’t take us as seriously. But they should. We moms are the demo most advertisers want. We DO matter.

One of my best friends is a businesswoman. When I told her I was going to a “mommy blogger” conference she scoffed a bit and a laughed. I had to explain to her that these are real conferences with thousands of attendees and corporate sponsors. But I didn’t take offense to my friend. She just isn’t in my world.

For most of us, including myself, being a “mommy blogger” isn’t what pays the bills. But as my good friend Liz Gumbinner put in her popular blog Mom-101, a blog… “is rarely the end–it’s the means.“

“…your blog can be a platform for visibility, a place to connect with your community, a demonstration of your writing chops or digital prowess–all of which can lead to those actual career opportunities.”

She is absolutely right. And for some of us, it’s just an extension of our career. She mentions me as an example, since I have had a television career for the past 20 years and blogging for me, is a natural progression of not only that, but for whatever I have to come. Be it a book, a show, etc. For now, I have put many of my career aspirations on hold in lieu of changing diapers–something that is my choice and my luxury, since Phil can carry the bills (Sheryl Sandberg would be disgusted. As if I care…). Phil and I have always had a mutual give and take relationship. I put him through film school; he is putting me through motherhood. I love the trade-off. But I digress…

For me, going on a trip is exciting in my post-kid world for all the legitimate and plain fun (i.e. illegitimate) reasons. Which is the same as any businessman or woman who travel on occasion. I don’t need to justify this to anyone. I’m just flattered Parents asked me to go and that I have a husband who can take the reigns for a couple days. I may even get really crazy tonight and take an Ambien since I don’t have to listen to the baby monitor. Ahh, the little joys in life.

Best of all, since the conference is close to home, should anything go wrong without me, since I’m a total control freak and expect everything to fall apart, I can just hop in my car and come home. But really, I don’t anticipate that.

Stay tuned for some cool updates. Most will come next week as I’m going to try and really enjoy myself.  I think I’ll also be posting an interview I’ve been asked to do as well (with a surprise keynote speaker).

Okay, hitting the road! More to come…

Pic of business woman via Shutterstock