07-25-2013 01:34 PM
Hey there MetalMomma,
I've been in your shoes. I had that terrifying moment of having a positive pregnancy test in one hand while holding my 8 week old baby in my other arm. The most important thing to do is to stay calm. Its okay to cry and be frustrated. Believe me, I cried for 3 or 4 days. Oddly enough, my husband was far more calm about it. We figured that, with as careful as we had been, that it just must have been God's will for another little one to join our family. I'm not sure if you're religious or not, but that helped to calm me. If you have an IUD in, you definitely want to see your doc because it can cause MAJOR complications with the pregnancy if you don't get it removed pronto. Just sit your fiance down, explain that, as he should well know, there isn't a 100% effective form of birth control, and that yours failed. Life happens. If your fiance loves you (and I'm sure he does), you can both have your moment of panic and then settle into reality and help one another to adjust. Of course he will need a moment, I'm sure YOU need a moment. Everything becomes clear as time goes on.
In my experience, my youngest actually helped us to see that there were some major developmental delays going on with my older daughter. If I didn't have her surpassing her big sister in some areas, I probably would not have known to be concerned. She's also been a great example for her big sister to watch so she could learn to start doing some of the things she is supposed to be doing. My girls are 10 months apart. Its not as hard as you would think, believe it or not. There comes a point where physically they are very similar. In my girls' case, they both wear the same size diaper now and share clothes. Your oldest should be walking by the time your new little one gets here and that helps a lot because they do reach a point around the time they start to walk where they become very independent. Your youngest will sleep A LOT at first, so you will still have a lot of time to devote to your oldest, and then, as your youngest starts to catch up developmentally, you will notice that they like a lot of similar things (story time, music, etc.) so its easy to find ways to include them both.
There is a purpose for everything. Just hang in there and know that the sooner you tell your fiance (just come on out and say it, girl!) the sooner the two of you can make important decisions together, and the sooner you will have a support system to deal with all the ups and downs that come with close pregnancies.
I wouldn't change my life for the world, or give up my youngest. I'm blessed that we were surprised with a fail in our birth control.
07-25-2013 01:42 PM
I agree with all the ladies to go to your doctor ASAP. One thing they do mention in the brochure they probably gave you when they put your IUD in is that a lot of pregnancies that do occur while having the IUD can result into a miscarriage once they take out the IUD, but to avoid that or to know exactly the best way to protect yourself and the baby is to go the doctor asap. I dont agree that you might have a false positive, there are however false negative, but false positives are rear unless you are intaking something that has the "pregnancy" hormones or whatever hormone it is that indicates youre pregnant. My children are 18 months apart, and my second one was not planned. I cried, I worried, I screamed, but he was such a blessing in disguise, and my two little ones are best buds, wouldnt trade it for the world!!!
07-25-2013 01:47 PM
To Whom This Concerns:
First your boyfriend is suppose to be your best friend and the 2 of you conceived this together. I will not preach to much but if you 4 month old is here and you now have 9 more months to prepare for the 2nd than that is what was meant for you to do. God does not make mistakes, nor does he like them elemenated for your convience. It will all work out have Faith, Love and Trust in another and enjoy the fact your having a baby that God Blessed you with.
07-25-2013 02:11 PM
07-25-2013 02:43 PM
07-25-2013 03:37 PM
08-07-2013 08:48 AM
08-23-2013 01:58 PM
I'm sort of in the same shoes. Our third is going to be a little bit earlier than we planned. Not quite as close together as yours, about 17 months apart. My first and second are 20 months apart (planned but got pregnant sooner than I thought I would, lol).
My sister has become the cautionary tale at our OBGYN. She got pregnant a couple weeks before she was going to have her IUD put in and canceled the appt to move it back when she wasn't feeling good even. She was 4 weeks postpartum when she got pregnant, her baby was around 8 weeks old when she found out. At first she was really mad and angry at everyone. However, her baby is here now and her two daughters are only 9 1/2 months apart. They are going to be in the same grade at school even. But now that she is through the first couple weeks of adjustment, she and her husband have their system down and she's decided it's not so bad afterall.
11-05-2013 09:48 AM