My son is 4 1/2, when he is with me (his Mom) he does not listen, follow rules. He is very defiant towards me. He purposely does what I tell him not to do. He often hits me when he does not get his way. He will throw temper tantrums when told no by me. He will throw things (toys, pillows, clothes, etc) when he doesn't get his way. He talks back to me and tells me no all the time.
This behavior only occurs when I am around. He is a complete angel at school (Pre K) and he does not display these behaviors when he is with other people including his Dad. If I am there when he is with other people he displays this behavior. He will be good until the moment he sees me.
I don't know what to do. I have tried redirection, time outs, taking toys away, taking privileges away, early bed times...nothing works. I often lose my temper with him because I am just fed up and frustrated.
Maybe your kid wants something from you. Try finding it out what he likes through other members of your family and be the one to offer him those things as surprises. This would make him feel attached toward you and instill the love and care on your behalf. Meet his teachers at school and find out what all he is good at and try to promote those likings with some surprises as well.