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I have a problem - As a separated dad, I have 2 kids, a boy (8) and a girl (7). Me and their mother share custody, trading off during the summer. When my kids are here practically all they want to do is lay up and watch cartoons all day. Recently some new neighbors have moved in, complete with a pool, swingset and trampoline, none of which I have in my backyard. Now my kids have gotten to the point when they come over they beg to go swimming with the neighbor's kids. That's worked out for a few months, but last weekend I had a couple of other kids over here (with my kids) and I guess all 4 of them pestered the neighbors to let them swim. A few nights ago I saw on Facebook the neighbor's post where she was complaining about my kids and saying that many times their family just wants to spent time amongst themselves (and other hurtful comments.) Translation : they're tired of other kids asking to swim all the time", even though it's their youngest 2 year old daughter who invites my kids every time. It was really hurtful to me to read that, and my immediate thought was to tell them where to shove their stupid swimming pool... however I didn't, and I sent her back a message saying "I'll just keep my kids away from your house from now on." She replied and said , "4 was just overwhelming, one of them got bee stung, YOUR 2 KIDS are welcome, but not the relatives and friends."
So what's the best way to handle it if it happened to you? Would you just make your kids stay away from there for good, or let them continue to try and have a relationship with the neighbor kids? My daughter especially likes to go over there sometimes while she's bored during the summer, and I'm torn between being insulted and just telling them never to go around there again, but my kids get so bored here and they have so much fun over there I want them to enjoy their time here. PLEASE ADVISE!!
I think these sort of situations happen to most of us who have kids. Kids are kids! They see a pool and they have a one track mind. Because these are your neighbors and you will likely see them often just let them know you are sorry about what happened. Also explain that you were hurt by the post on Facebook and would be happy to talk to her in person about anything bothering her in the future.
Have a simple talk about boundaries with your kids and set a limit to how many times per week they can swim at the neighbors place. Share this with the neighbor so she knows that you are trying to respect her space.
We have a neighbor that have grandchildren over all the time. The kids always want to play at our house. I have often felt dumped on, like a babysitter that doesn't get paid. I finally said something to my neighbor. Our neighbor was very nice and understanding about how I felt. We now take turns watching the kids when they play in the front yard.
I know how tempting it can be to tell your neighbor to stick it where the sun doesn't shine, but being mad at someone takes too much energy. You might end up neighbors for a long time. Make nice with neighbors and move forward